Life begins at the end of your comfort zone....

This week was rough.  I knew it would be and it lived up to the hype.  My parents came and my dad his latest eye surgery and thankfully it went off like a dream.  (The exact opposite of our unexpected 6 week ordeal last year, which was weighing on us as we prepped for this surgery.)

But even though my dad was well cared for and also my mom has been feeling great, I was exhausted.  But do you know who worried about me (in my day-to-day life)?  No one.  Nobody said, "How are you holding up?  You doing okay?"  They said, "Your poor mom. Your poor dad."  All the while I'm thinking, "Really?"  I'm catering to them, driving them everywhere, attending to their every need, making sure they get the best medical care and they are the ones suffering?  It always reminds me just how often the caregiver is overlookedand what a tremendous job that is to take on.  And I realize that I've got it so much easier and in shorter bursts than most.

But I digress, as that situation began to wrap up another storm was a brewin'.  A storm involving my siblings.  The storm that starts when I feel like my contribution and concern for my parents (I decided that they are my parents from now on since I am the one who watches out for them) is taken for granted and their contribution to our lives is also taken for granted.  They may make me nuts a lot but damn, I have some of the nicest parents anyone could hope for. 

I won't go into too many details about this sh*t storm mainly because it's late and I need to sleep.  But there were a lot of tense conversations and trying to be mature and not wrapped up in the emotions and express myself without attacking the other parties.  I stood up for myself over and over again, even though I was weary.  I was out of my comfort zone of just letting my family walk all over me.  It was hard to get back up time and time again.

But I'm also over it.  And randomly finding this quote tonight reminds me that I'm on the right path.  That getting out of my comfort zone must be done because it's anything but comfortable.

Comments

[Liz C.]

So glad to hear that your dad's surgery went well! Sending good wishes that this week is easier and you can get some good R&R time for yourself. Take good care:)

[andria]

I'm so glad your dad's surgery went well. More importantly, I am glad you stood up for yourself, over and over. You are inspiring Lily.

[Catherine V]

Good for you. Kickin' a.. and takin' names. It's definitely tough to step out of the comfort zone--you should be proud!

[Karen D]

Lily.. though we are far away distance wise we care and hear what you are saying. As a caretaker myself I know that feeling and I am so happy to hear that you stood up for yourself and stood in your truth. May you Dad recover well and may you take good care of you.

xo,
Karen D

[Suzy]

I'm sorry to hear this, Lily. People often do forget about the caregiver. I am guilty of it, as well. My uncle died two days ago. (Cancer.) A couple of weeks ago my mother was recounting the hell my aunt (her sister) was experiencing, looking after her husband in every single way. He refused to get outside help and she was barely hanging on, physically and emotionally exhausted. I remember thinking, How can my mother be thinking about her sister at a time like this? Yes, it's horrible and I wish she wasn't going through it, but think of what her husband is going through. He is going to DIE.
Anyway, he did, (and even though we knew it was coming it still struck me like a punch in the gut). My aunt has taken to her bed. Out of grief, yes, I'm sure, but probably due to exhaustion more than anything. She hasn't had a moment's rest in more than a year. I'd be spent too.
So all this to say, I finally get it. I hope others do, too. I'd come take care of you if I were closer. Big hugs.

[Chung]

i'm glad I stumbled upon your blog... very inspirational to read. I've bookmarked your site and I'll be checking in often.
as a mother who has gone through struggles to get pregnant, then miscarry (2 times)... I feel I have some understanding as to what you've gone through. I am an acupuncturist and I deal with people trying to overcome infertility on a regular basis. thanks again for the insightful read. I hope to share your site with others on my blog as well...