The Infertile Mind

Expressing Motherhood Infertile Style....

One of my many infertile and outrageously talented, thoughtful, funny and insightful friends, Lisa Manterfield, recently was invited to be part of a performance called Expressing Motherhood in Los Angeles.  She beautifully expresses her infertility journey in the video clip below (6 min.).  I only wish I could have been there to give her a standing ovation on behalf of infertile women everywhere. 

Lisa also recently authored one of my favorite books, I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home: How One Woman Dared to Say No to Motherhood.  Check out my review on it here.

Take part in a research study about Living Without Children After Infertility....

Thank you to Pamela, author of Silent Sorority, for mentioning a research opportunity being done by Marni, a doctoral student at the University of Pennsylvania School of Social Policy and Practice.  Read Pamela's full blog post on the topic at her blog here. I will be contacting Marni, although I'm not sure I fit the criteria.  However, I want to offer at least words of support and encouragement for this important work.

Here are the highlights (excerpted from Pamela's post):

You may qualify for a research study examining the long-term process of pursuing parenthood with medical assistance to living without children if you:

• Experienced infertility
• Completed treatment at least 3 years ago (“treatment”, for purposes of this study, is defined as any type of medical intervention to enhance fertility, e.g. using Clomiphene or other ovulatory stimulant, IUI, IVF, etc.)
• Are living without children
• Are between the ages of 35-60 (all women, of any sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, or marital status, are invited to participate).

Participation involves one 1-2 hour interview to be done at your convenience.
Participants will receive a $10 gift card to Starbucks and travel expenses.
Principal Investigator: Ram Cnaan, Ph.D.

For more information, please email Marni: infertilitystudy1(@)gmail(dot) com. All inquiries are strictly confidential. The study even has a Facebook page: Infertility Study. 

I (Pamela) cautioned Marni that getting women to open up on this topic is difficult. That's when she assured me:

"I completely understand any hesitation to go on record. Since this is a dissertation topic that required Institutional Review Board approval from UPenn, I am held to the highest standard of confidentiality. Please know that all interviews are strictly confidential; no personal information will be known by anyone but me."

The Final Four and pregnancy loss? An unlikely connection....

So tonight we settled in to watch our local Butler Bulldogs take on (and win!) over Virginia Commonwealth.  Before the game started on the CBS Sports Pre-Show, there was a story about the Florida Gators Basketball Coach, Billy Donovan and his connection to two of his former staff members, now coach of Alabama Anthony Grant and former Arkansas coach John Pelphrey. 

Their connection?  They all lost children during pregnancy within a few years of each other.  The story was excellent and heart-wrenching.  It made me sad and proud all at once.  Sad because it brought up memories of my miscarriages and proud that these families are sharing their pain on such a public stage to help others in their situation. You can watch the 10 minute segment below or here:

To read about their collective losses check out this online story, Billy Donovan's Secret Sorrow on ThePostGame.com. Here's the direct link: http://www.thepostgame.com/features/201101/billy-donovans-secret-sorrow

The Pelphrey family has also created a foundation to honor their son and help neonatal efforts throughout the United States.  To learn about Pel's Pals, visit their website here.

Have you ever seen a flower headed monster?

 

When I attended Squam Art Workshops last September (one of the best things I've ever done for myself), I met some of the most amazing women ever.  And they continue to be wonderful friends, even from afar.  One of these lovely ladies is Liz, who writes one of my favorite blogs called Enjoy and Love - That's Enough.  She sent me one her whimsical creations, A Flower Headed Monster, which sold like hotcakes at Squam.  I am loving my Blue Beauty and he keeps me company here at my keyboard!  She also put together this awesome little video called, "Birth of a Monster" showing how she makes them. Check it out:

 

Decoupage with a message.....

 
 
A few years ago I bought the Dr. Wayne Dyer book, Living the Wisdom of the Tao: The Complete Tao Te Ching and Affirmations.  It's a lovely little book with beautiful details, artwork & words that I would go back to from time to time.  However, now that I'm obsessed with decoupage I decided to pull out the most meaningful messages to me and incorporate them into my creative space.  The jar pictured above reads, "In all of nature, no storm can last forever."

The jar below reads, "Because I know that I do not know, I am guided to find my own way."

 

Believing that seasons change and cultivating trust....

So, I learned about this illustrator, Kristin Noelle, through Jen Lee (one of my fabulous teachers at Squam) and I love her style.  It is so simple and lovely.  I signed up for her Sketch A Day e-mail for 30 days and I have really enjoyed them.  (They are almost done and I'm going to be sad when they stop arriving!) This one came today and really just made me feel good and calm.  Seasons do change and sometimes I take comfort that no matter how good or bad I think things are there will change. 

And I do sense a lot of change coming with my parents moving here this year, trying to find a high school for my stepson to attend which could have us moving, a Spring Break trip and possibly a trip to Spain with my parents.  All hopefully good and wonderful changes and experiences but I have to allow myself to feel uneasy about them at times because there are a lot of unknowns.  I have to TRUST that it's all going to work out for the best.

Speaking of TRUST, that's really the central topic of Kristin's blog/website: www.kristinnoelle.com.  She also posts other illustrations via the blog portion which I have also really enjoyed.  Her site is all about cultivating TRUST in ourselves, which is also a word that keeps popping up for this year so finding her is timely.

Also, circling back to Jen Lee, she is a new favorite resource for me since going to Squam.  (Hearing her do her storytelling live was an amazing experience and to be in her class for a 1/2 day has stuck with me for months.  I think one of her retreats is going to be on a personal wish list.)  She has started a handwritten letter series, which is powerful.  Her latest one on Love, Risk and Comfort Zones is also worth a look at (plus she does beautiful panoramic photography, too!). Find it here.