Well, the figurative sun came out yesterday and the literal sun came out today!
Beginning with the figurative - I had an early business meeting and truly I did not want to go. I wanted to lay in my bed and sulk all day but I decided to get ready and attend. It was fine but afterwards my business partner and I went back to her house to work for a while. She asked how my weekend was and I mentioned crummy in between projects. While we were having lunch she circled back and asked me what was going on. She listened with an empathetic ear and didn't make me feel bad for my feelings, even though she has two young boys of her own. She's usually so busy juggling everything that we rarely have time to have little chats like that. It was so refreshing and helped me feel a lot better.
The night before my husband and I talked about everything and he mentioned that he feels that way sometimes too. I don't know that he's mentioned that before. And while on one hand I don't want him to have these hurts, too, it's nice to know it's not just me. Last night we had our movie night and went out to dinner. Nothing fancy but definitely yummy and it was nice to re-connect as a couple.
(I should also absolutely mention the supportive comments left here from other awesome infertiles who knew exactly how I felt and were having a hell of weekend, too. You always feel better when you know you're not alone. So thank you for being with me in the moment.)
Fairly late in the evening Snow White called me - she had her baby. She was exhausted and it was a crazy story but she still made sure to call me herself and talked to me for at least 15 minutes. I was almost in tears when she told me how beautiful he was and that he looked just like her. But this time, unlike Sunday, it was happy tears. Tears because I know what a long road she had to get here.
And during that call another friend beeped in. A good friend who in the last couple of years has had nothing but shit piled up at his door in his personal life. He had been thinking of changing jobs recently and it was like divine intervention that the day he looked for a job at his dream place, a perfect job was there for him, the reporting manager was a guy who used to work for him and it just kept getting better until he was made the offer. He's coming to visit us in a couple of weeks before the new job kicks in and I can't wait to see him and his new pup.
Each of these events gave me a little more faith. Faith that in bad times you can find some of the most special moments with unexpected people who care. And that on the other side of hell you can find a new heaven.
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