The Infertile Mind

Book Review: Happy For No Reason by Marci Shimoff....

While I was helping my parents move this summer, I found the book Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out.  I felt a little foolish reading it for some reason, as if in my head I was really thinking, "Happy for No Reason? Yea right!"  But I slowly read it over the summer and thought I'd share with you a few good insights.  And it's full of great quotes, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

1. Get 8 hours of sleep. Nothing new, right? Well, the book added a note that according to Ayurvedic wisom (ancient medical tradition of India) that "getting an hour of sleep before midnight is worth 2 hours of sleep after midnight"  That was new information - when to get the 8 hours in. (p. 174)

So I decided to implement this one, which was not an easy choice because I am a very natural night owl.  I used to joke I'd be happy as a vampire, coming out only at night.  However, I must say after sticking to this all summer, I'm a believer.  Now I make sure I'm in bed by 11 and I'm up around 7.  There's nothing I miss about being up late and I'm going to sleep soundly every night, which was not the case before.  My next step is I think I'll be pushing back to 10:30 or even 10!

2.  The Solutions Focus Technique. (p. 63)  If I'm stuck in a situation or relationship where I'm unhappy or frustrated, I'm quick to list out all the reason it's going wrong.  However, I never stop to think how it's going right!  With this method you think of a situation you've been complaining about and rate how you feel about it from 1 to 10.  If you didn't score a 1 then you need to write down those reasons about why you didn't score it lower.  I was surprised to find even my most frustrating situations were at least a 2 or 3, so some possibility was there!

The next step is to look at your list and think of a small step you could take to raise your satisfaction by even 1 point.  Then take action.  Just the re-framing of the situation and then taking even tiny steps to help it along made this some good advice for me.

3. How People Learn.  (p.281)  The following information/quote was compiled after extensive research by Psychiatrist William Glasser. 

“We Learn . . .
10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we discuss
80% of what we experience
95% of what we teach others.”

- Dr. William Glasser

Being an avid reader, I was a little stunned to see we learn only 10% of what we read and excited to see we learn 95% of what we teach to someone else.  Without really realizing it, it may be what prompted this post!  I think by compiling my thoughts here, I hope to retain these good insights more deeply.

In closing, what I liked about this book it is was actually more like a summary of a lot of other people and information I've read before.  For example it brought up Byron Katie and The Work, the Sedona Method and on and on.  It also gave you action steps to implement and had lots of good stories to illustrate the point.  It's also an easy read that you can easily take on in chapters and not feel like you've lost the whole story. 

Okay, I'm off to walk the dog and do some crafting with one of my nieces later!

Meet my new art journal....

I created the cover in June but didn't give it life until late last night. Boy, did it feel good! By the way, lately I have fallen in love with Instagram on the iPhone (thank you Karen for convincing me to try it!).  If you want to join me and my daily pictures, my ID is Lilywith1L.  Maybe I'll see you there?

Peek into the art journal....

Before we left for the lake I re-did the cover of my art journal. And here's a spread I did while there inspired by Christine Mason Miller's book Ordinary Sparkling Moments: Reflections on Success and Contentment. I filled up this art journal and soon plan to begin the next one!

We Need One Another.....

I took this picture one day while walking the dog.  The sun was shining beautifully behind the tree and drawing attention to the little angel statue.  I'd walked by it many, many times and never noticed it before.

As to what I've been up to for the last month, I'd call it nesting.  I have been cleaning areas of my house like a mad woman.  I think it's both a physical and spiritual cleansing.   I've also found so many wonderful memories. 

One particular find was a touching poem from my Aunt Edda's memorial service that I wanted to share titled We Need One Another by George O'Dell.

We Need One Another by George O'Dell

We need one another when we mourn and would be comforted…

when we are in trouble and afraid…

when we despair, in temptation, and need to be recalled to our best selves again.

We need one another when we would accomplish some great purpose, and cannot do it alone…

in the hour of our successes, when we look for someone to share our triumphs

[and] in the hour of our defeat when with encouragement we might endure and stand again.

We need one another when we come to die, and would have gentle hands prepare us for the journey.

All our lives we are in need, and others are in need of us.

Quote on what needs to break so you can fly....

"The shell must break before the bird can fly." -Tennyson

Sorry I haven't had much to say lately. It's going to be a busy summer with moving my parents here and my mom having surgery yesterday. I may need to do some shell breaking, too....

Quote on trusting yourself...

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

– Dr. Spock

Expressing Motherhood Infertile Style....

One of my many infertile and outrageously talented, thoughtful, funny and insightful friends, Lisa Manterfield, recently was invited to be part of a performance called Expressing Motherhood in Los Angeles.  She beautifully expresses her infertility journey in the video clip below (6 min.).  I only wish I could have been there to give her a standing ovation on behalf of infertile women everywhere. 

Lisa also recently authored one of my favorite books, I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home: How One Woman Dared to Say No to Motherhood.  Check out my review on it here.

Quote on not being pushed by your problems....

"Don't be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams."

- Proverb

Quote on taking the moment and making the best of it....

“Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.  Delicious ambiguity…”

– Gilda Radner

I feel this way right now.  I'm not clear about what has happened, what's happening right now and definitely where it's all going.  I'm feeling a bit like I'm at a dead end and not sure what to do about it other than sit down.  So this quote gave me a little pick me up that maybe ambiguity is a good thing.

Sun salutation and personal affirmations....

Back when I was doing Wii Fit, I learned their modified version of the Sun Salutation.  It's a nice way to start my mind and body each day.  I even started adding in my own personal affirmations.  Here they are along side the notes on movements.

• Inhale as you bring your hands together.

           "I begin my day with calm and focus."

• Then stretch up, reach as high as you can, and feel your spine lengthen.

            "I reach up to the heavens for warmth and inspiration."

• While keeping your balance steady lean backwards slightly and feel your abdomen and spine stretch.

            "I lean back into the positive, easy, abundant flow of my life."

• As you slowly exhale bend forward and touch your toes, empty your lungs completely and hold for a moment.

            "I reach down to stay grounded with my faith and values."

• Slowly inhale again as you squat. Keep your spine straight as you bend your legs and then slowly raise your arms.

            "I rise up to growth and possibilities of each new day."