The Infertile Mind

Book Review: Happy For No Reason by Marci Shimoff....

While I was helping my parents move this summer, I found the book Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out.  I felt a little foolish reading it for some reason, as if in my head I was really thinking, "Happy for No Reason? Yea right!"  But I slowly read it over the summer and thought I'd share with you a few good insights.  And it's full of great quotes, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

1. Get 8 hours of sleep. Nothing new, right? Well, the book added a note that according to Ayurvedic wisom (ancient medical tradition of India) that "getting an hour of sleep before midnight is worth 2 hours of sleep after midnight"  That was new information - when to get the 8 hours in. (p. 174)

So I decided to implement this one, which was not an easy choice because I am a very natural night owl.  I used to joke I'd be happy as a vampire, coming out only at night.  However, I must say after sticking to this all summer, I'm a believer.  Now I make sure I'm in bed by 11 and I'm up around 7.  There's nothing I miss about being up late and I'm going to sleep soundly every night, which was not the case before.  My next step is I think I'll be pushing back to 10:30 or even 10!

2.  The Solutions Focus Technique. (p. 63)  If I'm stuck in a situation or relationship where I'm unhappy or frustrated, I'm quick to list out all the reason it's going wrong.  However, I never stop to think how it's going right!  With this method you think of a situation you've been complaining about and rate how you feel about it from 1 to 10.  If you didn't score a 1 then you need to write down those reasons about why you didn't score it lower.  I was surprised to find even my most frustrating situations were at least a 2 or 3, so some possibility was there!

The next step is to look at your list and think of a small step you could take to raise your satisfaction by even 1 point.  Then take action.  Just the re-framing of the situation and then taking even tiny steps to help it along made this some good advice for me.

3. How People Learn.  (p.281)  The following information/quote was compiled after extensive research by Psychiatrist William Glasser. 

“We Learn . . .
10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we discuss
80% of what we experience
95% of what we teach others.”

- Dr. William Glasser

Being an avid reader, I was a little stunned to see we learn only 10% of what we read and excited to see we learn 95% of what we teach to someone else.  Without really realizing it, it may be what prompted this post!  I think by compiling my thoughts here, I hope to retain these good insights more deeply.

In closing, what I liked about this book it is was actually more like a summary of a lot of other people and information I've read before.  For example it brought up Byron Katie and The Work, the Sedona Method and on and on.  It also gave you action steps to implement and had lots of good stories to illustrate the point.  It's also an easy read that you can easily take on in chapters and not feel like you've lost the whole story. 

Okay, I'm off to walk the dog and do some crafting with one of my nieces later!

We Need One Another.....

I took this picture one day while walking the dog.  The sun was shining beautifully behind the tree and drawing attention to the little angel statue.  I'd walked by it many, many times and never noticed it before.

As to what I've been up to for the last month, I'd call it nesting.  I have been cleaning areas of my house like a mad woman.  I think it's both a physical and spiritual cleansing.   I've also found so many wonderful memories. 

One particular find was a touching poem from my Aunt Edda's memorial service that I wanted to share titled We Need One Another by George O'Dell.

We Need One Another by George O'Dell

We need one another when we mourn and would be comforted…

when we are in trouble and afraid…

when we despair, in temptation, and need to be recalled to our best selves again.

We need one another when we would accomplish some great purpose, and cannot do it alone…

in the hour of our successes, when we look for someone to share our triumphs

[and] in the hour of our defeat when with encouragement we might endure and stand again.

We need one another when we come to die, and would have gentle hands prepare us for the journey.

All our lives we are in need, and others are in need of us.

Quote on what needs to break so you can fly....

"The shell must break before the bird can fly." -Tennyson

Sorry I haven't had much to say lately. It's going to be a busy summer with moving my parents here and my mom having surgery yesterday. I may need to do some shell breaking, too....

Quote on trusting yourself...

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

– Dr. Spock

Quote on not being pushed by your problems....

"Don't be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams."

- Proverb

Quote on taking the moment and making the best of it....

“Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.  Delicious ambiguity…”

– Gilda Radner

I feel this way right now.  I'm not clear about what has happened, what's happening right now and definitely where it's all going.  I'm feeling a bit like I'm at a dead end and not sure what to do about it other than sit down.  So this quote gave me a little pick me up that maybe ambiguity is a good thing.

Never take anything for granted....

After my Mother's Day post, let me follow up with this quote,

"Never take anything for granted." - Benjamin Disraeli

If I would add something to it, it would say,

"Never take anything for granted, including yourself."

On how to finish each day....

I actually own this magnet and I think I need to start reading it every day because I love it's message: 

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” – Emerson

And Happy Birthday to my mom.  We don't often see eye-to-eye but I am eternally grateful to have a mother like her.

A quote on worrying....

 Here's a good quote on worrying:

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere" - Proverb

A quote on the past and the present....

I guess I have been taking my In Praise of Slow book more to heart than even I had realized.  I am enjoying Slow. 

So today I went looking for quotes because I so love them. I found this quote, which is a good one after a recent visit from family that often stirs up the past.  Staying present and not replaying hurtful events or interactions with people is a task we all struggle with - at least I do.  

 Here it is:

"Don't let yesterday use up too much of today." - Cherokee Proverb